Thomas Freeman: A Parody of a Parody
by cerulean.inferno
Summary: THomas Freechman enters an alternate dimension thru his locker filled with drinks and goes into the drink dimension of soda. What sort of adventures await him thar! Warning: may induce blindness.


It was a day filed of gray-ness on a day before tuesday when thomas freeman was wandering round a place he was supposed to be. It was his school. Thomas freeman locked for fun in the hall but could not find any funs because he was very boring person which is why gordon freeman (his older brother there) never talked to him. SO THOMAS WENT TO HIS STORAGE CAPSULE and openeded it. Inside he found drinks which were not drinks but were also drinks. He took one of the drinks that were not drinks that were also drinks and says "i shalt not be thirsty anymore!" and so he drank. But then FUUUUUUS thomas got blowed up by an ess-plosion of portal which enfugled him in lights and some sort of fur. Tommy frietman opened his eyes and saw trees! And ground! And at this point in time tommy fredman realized that he was somewhere he was not supposed to be and that he had to leave as soon as the cycles of very time permitted him to do so that he could get out of there safely and leave because he had to which he did.

Well tom sawyer (?) walked round the foresty place and fell in something that looked like something but was actually something. He ate through it and was ok. Then he heard a brouhaha and wondered where the ruckus was from and it was a bonch of pointy-eared mans. They pointed at thomas and said "you person from other dimension who is here and should not be here because it is dangerous, LEAVE THIS PLACE!" but lil tommy did not listen and he was a very brave person so he said 'no' and then the pointy-eared mans let him stay there because they were nice mens. OR SO THOMAS FREECHMAN THOUGHT.

The night after that day which was that very night was filled with evil. Thomas freeman ended up beating the pointy-eared mans with point-ed sticks which is ironic because the mans has point-ed ears. SO he killed them all and when he killed their chief he said 'look at that woman over there' but thomaster was no fool and lookied not. He PONTED THE STICK IN THE PONTED EARS MANS NECK and that was the end of that because thomas freeman had killed everybody and nobody was left which made him sadface because he liked to kill. 'oh well' he said and grabbed a nearby ponted-headed horse. Tom freeman rode. Like the wind! And he saw the pretty stars in the sky and a few moons and his mother's face in the constellations and also saw a cloud that looked like keanu reeves. He said 'that's a pretty cloud there' and carried himself onwards.

CASTLE! Thomas freeman saw. It was firing with red and blue and orange and tom was worrying his pants because he did not like things on fire and they made him nervous and scared and sadface. But he was a hero, like his brothers, john freeman and gordon freeman! He knew that he had to do what really had to be done in order to keep his family name otherwise he is not worthy and must surrendered to the combines and other evil things that are too many to put in tommy freechmans mind. SO he carried on with his unibrow.

What tom-tom saw what unsuperbelieble or something that sounds like that because he didnt believe his eyes, there was hummus on the sand and unibrows EVERYWHERE!

'oh no what has happened here!' exclaimed tommy with wide frown. Troll of sudden THOMAS HEAR BOOM and realize it atom bomb which is made to destroy all that is good and stuff but tom not let that happen for he is freeman and freeman save things from other things which are bad and stuff.

Thomas freeman thought 'oh no other dimension is in troubles' and went back HASTELY. Instead of staying at his storage capsule he took his motor bike which was birthday present from gordon and rode to the place where books are.

Librarian looked very ugly today and thomas said 'wow librarian you look very ugly today' so she was madface and ate everything. She ate people and things and other things that should not go in mouths because doing that is dangerous BUT SHE CONTINUED! And tom freeman got scared. And tom freeman ran. And tom freeman JOOOMPED out of window and landed on a pair of socks so he was safe.

But then he remembered! the dimension of the drink that was not a drink but was also a drink. He needed his favors there! He went back HASTELY again and there was war. Bloods were covering all. The books had died and the hummus was doomed but the unibrows were thar and they gaggled.

'what happened here' tommy said.

'NOTHING' said mysterious figure behind tommy freeman.

Tommy freeman turned around slowly and slowly and slowlier and very very slowly until he saw what it was he had to see. He had seen before but did not want to see again but here it was in front of him there. His eyes became oranges. He looked and garsped.

TO BE CONTINUED?


End file.
